SnotCat, like everything, one and being, had a talent.
A talent that not many possessed.
A talent that not many understood.
A talent, in fact, that not many thought was actually a talent.
But it DEFFINATELY is.
SnotCat was a very ordinary cat.
A lovely cat, obviously, as are all cats. But otherwise he was quite ordinary.
He has this long whippy tail.
And these sticky-up ears.
And this fur that is all orange and brown and white and black.
All quite usual.
But on his face, his cheeky little face, is always something that's not always on a cat's face.
It's sometimes green
Or yellow or brown or black.
It's sometimes dribbly
Or sticky or crunchy or hard.
It's snot.
(Which is why SnotCat has such a name by the way).
But the thing with this snot on SnotCat's face is this: it does fantastic things.
Well, SnotCat is always very proud of it anyway.
And if he thinks it does fantastic things, well then, of course it does.
The other day Fox, having a little wander about, bumped into SnotCat in the green behind Tesco.
"Allo SnotCat" says Fox.
At first SnotCat didn't reply because, at that moment, he was very much enjoying dribbling his snot up and down in one big, long, bright green spiral.
Fox hesitated for a second, then nudged SnotCat again.
"Oi"
"Oh i'm so sorry Fox, hiyah how are you today?"
"Why you so fascinated by your snot, SnotCat?"
SnotCat was a little confused by Fox's behaviour. As well as not answering his question, Fox seemed to be staring a bit too hard at his snot spiral. With a look of, was it disgust?
SnotCat, because he has manners, replied to Fox quickly.
"I am fascinated by my snot, Fox, because it is what i do best. And one should always enjoy what one does best."
Fox thought for a moment.
Considering.
Wandering.
And contemplating.
"Yeah, but snot isn't anything special really is it? Everyone gets it from time to time don't they?"
SnotCat didnt have to think for long as, firstly, snot is really one of the most exciting, wonderous and usefull things in the world. Secondly, SnotCat didnt have to think for long because he is very smart (like all cats).
"I am a SnotCat, Fox, and it is fun, but very busy work. Let me tell you my average week."
-On Monday's i have great fun climbing to the top of a lovely big tree and letting my snot dangle as far as it can dangle. Sometimes it nearly brushes the ground (or someone's head), but i snip it straight back up again before it does.
-On Tuesday's, it's always a good idea to remind myself where i've been (i do love to explore). So i shoot out little yellow drops of snot every so often.
-On a Wednesday i blow snot bubbles. One day i will blow a bubble so big that i can fly above the stars.
-Thursday is my combat training day, so i swing from branch to lamp post, from lamp post to bin (and so on) on my extra strong, elastic snot.
-Friday's are good for artistic fullfilment, so i scatter and dip, swirl and nip my snot all over (prefferably) the sofa. One day my work will be in a gallery and it will cross boundaries.
-On a Saturday i like to do the household cleaning. I snot all over the place and the next day, when i get home from one of my nightly escapades, the snot has vanished and all the surfaces and floors and doors and things are all sparkly and clean.
-Sunday's are a lazy day for everybody, obviously. So i generally like stretching back and having the moment to just enjoy being a SnotCat.
Fox was silent for a while.
SnotCat was full of content and calm, gently smiling to himself.
Fox's brow furrowed.
His snout slightly open.
His front paw poised in the air (as if to point something out).
And then Fox admitted,
"...Well SnotCat, i must say...you've got it right dontcha? Gotta do what you do best dontcha?"
"Oh yes Fox. Being a SnotCat is who i am, and that is most deffinately what i do best".
And with that, off popped SnotCat.
A dark yellow dribble of snot hanging from each nostril.
(One was dragging along the ground,
One was stuck to his ear).
And a very big and joyous grin spread across his cheeky little face.
He is SnotCat.
